the rest is still unwritten...

freakin' ticking biological clock...

2011-04-11T18:30:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5x5OXfe9KY

living by McBealisms...

2011-04-09T18:00:00.000-07:00

"They say it’s all in the attitude and mine has changed. And I can tell this time it’s gonna last….. maybe even a week."

Ally McBeal has had a part in inspiring me to change my attitude. Or maybe she has just verbalized and reinforced my lately conceived philosophies. Although she had her twenty-something years in the 90s, her McBealisms still very much apply to the 24 year-old, single, working girl in 2011. *

"I've decided to make an adjustment in my social life. I've decided to juggle. Instead of waiting for Mr. Right. I'm gonna take chances on Mr. Not Likelies on the theory of who knows...And I would like you to be one of the balls I keep up in the air."

"I'm not looking for a lifetime. I'm looking for a fun Tuesday night."

"The real truth is I probably don’t want to be too happy, on content, because then what? I actually like the quest, the search, that’s the fun. The more lost you are the more you have to look forward to. What do you know, I’m having a great time and I don’t even know it."

"I think I need to believe that it works. Love. Couplehood. Partnerships. The idea that when people come together they stay together. I have to take that with me to bed every night, even if I'm going to bed alone. That's a McBealism."

To sum up... “Sometimes, when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing.”

So, just juggle.

*And yes Rachel, I know you have been there and done that (but I chose different quotations and a different angle)

who am I?

2011-01-15T19:54:00.000-08:00

so far this weekend I have purchased two very ridiculous items...

and...
tomorrow most likely will be...

or...

I broke a spoon

2011-01-02T21:23:00.001-08:00

resolutions.

2010-12-29T10:34:00.000-08:00

last year it was eat healthy and exercise more...I stuck to it (mostly). therefore, this year it's:

-write/send cards to friends and family
-wear each item of clothing in my closet (the items I don't wear in the next year I'll give away)
-do sit-ups before bed

(here's for hoping)

raise your hand if you wish it was Christmastime all year...

2010-12-02T19:43:00.000-08:00

We Do!

"So wrap those presents, fill those stockings. Love from me to you, to you, to you!"

grateful.

2010-11-23T11:56:00.000-08:00

I've never felt so loved, so peaceful and so free, hey there ain't no doubt that God's been good to me...

...And everything I have, and everything I see is just another reminder that God's been good to me.

out with the old. in with the new.

2010-11-19T13:18:00.000-08:00

old: what now suckaaaa?!?

new: SUCK IT!!!!*

*credit goes to an 11th grade student I subbed for (male, long blond hair, classic rock tee, and fanny pack filled with pencils and pens), who ecstatic that there was no quiz, due to the absence of his teacher, proceeded to yell "SUCK IT" while throwing his head back, thrusting his hips forward, and pulling his fists down.

remember when...

2010-11-16T19:31:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I had the pleasure of opening a time capsule made in 2006 with some of my closest friends. The magazine cut-out covered shoebox was filled with memories, letters, jokes, and my broken and very much coveted orange scissors. Since May 2006, our friendship has grown in some ways and changed in others. Gabs, Amandaluh, Kait, and I laughed and thoroughly enjoyed our nostalgia filled lunch. The following are the highlights:

remember whens...
remember the time when Amanda wanted to invent a whiteboard t-shirt?
remember those nights spent watching Friends in Morgan's room?
remember the time when Jess lost her scissors, then found them, then broke them?
remember the time Kaitlin, Amanda, and Gabby and Rob went to gspoon and then Kait tried to carry Rob (and she did) and then he shoved his yogurt in her face...then it got messy and se peed her pants but she pretended that she sat in a puddle? But then she felt bad for lying and told Gabs and Amanda?
remember Tif and Tab?
remember when Kait cleaned all the toilets in Laguna?
remember when Gabby, Jess, and Kait, and Johnny made a super long banner for FSB but it blew away?
remember when Jess, Gabs, and Kait went on a roadtrip and Rosie died?
remember when Kait's floor peed in bottles to prank the 7th floor?
remember Gabby's extensions?
remember Kait's bad spooning habits? (sorry Jess)
remember Jess's sunburned knee pits?

favorite songs...
A Jubilant Song, Seasons of Love, Unwritten, Hide and Seek

favorite jokes...
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because WHAT IS THAT THING!

favorite TV...
24, Friends, Grey's Anatomy

favorite movies...
Rent, The Other Sister, Diary of a Mad Black Woman

most common quotes...
Jess: "That's inapropriate"
Gabs: "Don't judge me"
Amandaluh: "Oh yeeah!"
Kait: "Git some!"

On a different note...I have changed over the past 4 1/2 years, yet in some ways I have stayed the same. In reading the letter I wrote to myself, I was again reminded that I need to live in the present and find joy in the here and now. Apparently, my tendency to worry about the future and my want to control every situation has not changed. Enjoy my silly letter filled with clichés:

Dear me, I know that you want everything to work out a certain way and I know that you are worrying about things left and right, but I want you to know that it is all going to be okay. "Trust Thou in God!!!" Enjoy what is to come and don't worry too much about it. Take the leap that you need to take and trust that God is going to be there with you 100%. Don't freak out. Enjoy today and love the life that God has given you. Remember that you are cared for and cared about. You are loved and you are not abandoned. I love you...now go have fun!!!!!
Love, me

I look forward to the next 5 years and to watching our friendships grow and change yet again, making new memories, and creating more remember whens.

this I miss.

2010-11-10T15:14:00.001-08:00

reunited in 2 days.

uncharted.

2010-11-09T10:26:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been listening to Sara Bareilles on repeat. Her songs speak to me. She always finds the right words and puts them into beautiful sentences. I don't have a favorite song. I find that the mood I'm in usually determines that for me. Momentarily "Uncharted" is playing in my head...and has been all morning (hence this post). Specifically the following line:

"Compare, where you are to where you want to be, and you'll get nowhere."

In my current state, everything I hoped for and planned for this fall, did not work out. Instead, I am babysitting, subbing, and working toward my masters degree. I thought I had the perfect plan, I had figured it all out. Wrong. In the last couple of months I have continually compared where I am to where I want to be, or where I should have been. Where is that getting me? Nowhere. I'm stuck with "what ifs".

My new challenge is to quit comparing and to find joy in the here and now. A lesson that I come back to every few years. Maybe this wasn't my plan, maybe this is where I am supposed to be regardless, maybe He has the perspective that I could never have, and thus here I am: spending my days with kids of all ages, with a continual research design and educational theory in the back of my mind.

Instead of focusing on where I want to be, I want to find joy in my current circumstances and the blessings that exist there, then maybe I'll get somewhere. But for now, it's all uncharted.

Imma Bee

2010-11-03T15:35:00.000-07:00

Tis the good reader that makes the good book...

2010-09-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

...in every book he finds passages which seem confidences or asides hidden from all else and unmistakenly meant for his ear; the profit of books is according to the sensibility of the reader; the profoundest thought or passion sleeps as in a mine, until it is discovered by an equal mind and heart. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Pretentious with a predictable and slightly frustrating ended. Yet sometimes you read something that your heart just needs to hear or that simply resonates (Emerson says it better), and this book I do believe was meant for my ear when I read it. I had grand intentions of writing more, but this will suffice.

don't say a word...

2010-08-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

I went to the John Mayer concert this last week with my dear friend Poppie. It was a lovely evening on the lawn, relaxing on a quilt, drinking beer, and watching the audience move to the music. Every song, every note, every lyric was perfect. And now John Mayer's lyrics have taken up permanent residence in my brain.

The following was my favorite song by the lyrical poet:

If music be the food of love, play on.

2010-07-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

My summer playlist:

Breakeven - The Script
Kids - MGMT
Animal - Neon Trees
5 Years Time - Noah and the Whale
My First Kiss - 3OH!3
King of Anything - Sara Barielles
Waka Waka - Shakira
Give a Little - Hanson
Magic - B.O.B.
If It's Love - Train
3x5 - John Mayer
Dynamite - Taio Cruz
Sort Of - Ingrid Michaelson
Sink or Swim - Tyrone Wells
Fireflies - Owl City
Airplanes - B.O.B.
Sunshine Song - Jason Mraz
You're Love is My Drug - Ke$ha
Send Me on My Way - Rusted Root
One Tribe - Black Eyed Peas

imma be doin' my thing.

2010-06-17T16:46:00.000-07:00

Livin' life, feelin' free, that's how it's supposed to be. Come join my festivities, celebrate like Imma be!

Summer has started!

on my mind...

2010-01-25T17:43:00.000-08:00

"You should look as good as your outlook
Would you mind if I took some time
To soak up your light, your beautiful light
You’ve got a paradise inside
I get hungry for love and thirsty for life
And much too full on the pain
When I look to the sky to help me
And sometimes it looks like rain

As the sun shines
On other peoples houses and not mine
And the sky paints its clouds
In a way that it takes away the summertime
Somehow the sun keeps shining upon you
While I kindly stand by
If there’s a light in everybody
Send out your ray of sunshine"

-"Sunshine Song" Jason Mraz

reads.

2010-01-04T13:13:00.000-08:00

ambitious. clever. quirky. touching. easy.
exactly what I needed.

to times gone by...

2009-12-31T11:28:00.000-08:00

"For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne."

Thank you to all of my dear friends for making 2009 a year to remember and never forget. I cherish each and every one of you and remember our wonderful times together on this day. Though we may be far apart, I will take a cup of kindness tonight for auld lang syne.

:)

2009-12-14T21:12:00.000-08:00

Smile
tho'
your heart is aching,
Smile
Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky- You'll get by,
If you
Smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through- For you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile- What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,

If you just smile.

Mystery Solved.

2009-11-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

The boot belongs to Anne's sister-in-law. Apparently when Anne was moving in, she brought boxes from her sister-in-laws truck, and the boot mistakenly was brought into our apartment. The reality is not as entertaining or as fun as our theories, but at least we know the cable man didn't take anything from our apartment.

claim me.

2009-08-19T21:52:00.001-07:00

There is a mysterious high heel boot (with sock and Dr. Scholl's insert) in our apartment. Where did it come from? Who walked away with only one shoe? Why did you leave it?

Our theories:
-The direct tv man that came the day of the finding left the boot and took something else in return (similar to the Life and Death Brigade from Gilmore Girls). But what did he take?
-The boot was thrown into our apartment from the sliding glass door on the balcony (tricky, but with the right angle it could work).
-The boot was left outside of our door and the direct tv man brought it in without mentioning it to us (sneaky).
-One of our friends decided to play a bizarre trick on our apartment, recently named Lady G (for G214).

For now the boot is sitting on top of our tv, as somewhat of a decoration, but more for the purpose of reminding us to lock our doors and to find an owner (because it's creepy). So please claim.

sad reality.

2009-07-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

I don't have internet at my apartment. If I had internet I would blog more.

I haven't forgotten about you...I'm just not connected to the world wide web.

thank you Gilbert Blythe.

2009-04-17T14:55:00.000-07:00

I felt old last night. The last four years have gone by so fast. With no further ado, I lack the words...

"when we look back now will our jokes still be funny?"

2009-04-09T23:40:00.000-07:00

I picked up my cap and gown today and couldn't get these lyrics out of my head...

As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
From whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

thanks vitamin c.

wonder.

2009-02-25T20:29:00.000-08:00

In the words of Brennan Manning:

"Dear Lord, grant me the grace of wonder. Surprise me, amaze me, awe me in every crevice of your universe. Delight me to see how your Christ plays in ten thousand places, lonely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not His, to the Father through features of men's faces. Each day enrapture me with your marvelous things without number...I do not ask to see the reason for it all; I ask only to share the wonder of it all"

raindrops keep falling on my head...

2009-02-06T16:23:00.000-08:00

and my glasses. When it's raining I constantly have water drops on my glasses impairing my vision. Then I have to wipe off my glasses with my shirt and then they're smudgy. I should have just worn my contacts today.

I can have my cake and eat it too...

2009-02-04T19:42:00.000-08:00

just doing my job.

2009-01-31T18:07:00.000-08:00

currently my life revolves around:
The Bachelor
American Idol
The Biggest Loser
America's Best Dance Crew
True Beauty

I now walk around saying "F all you Bs" because of Megan from The Bachelor. I listen to people sing and say to myself "Simon would say no." I see strangers and think they could change their lives on the Biggest Loser. I try to bone crush like the crew on ABDC. And I now walk around trying to hold doors open for people so that I can have inner beauty.

Thank you reality TV.

I'm practical...but this sounds good.

2008-11-30T13:23:00.000-08:00

just something for all of you cynics and realists to chew on:

"The dreamers are the saviors of the world. As the visible world is sustained by the invisible, so men, through all their trials and sins and sordid vocations, are nourished by the beautiful visions of their solitary dreamers. Humanity cannot forget its dreamers; it cannot let their ideals fade and die; it lives in them; it knows them as the realities which it shall one day see and know.

Composer, sculptor, painter, poet, prophet, sage, these are the makers of the after-world, the architects of heaven. The world is beautiful because they have lived; without them, laboring humanity would perish...

Cherish your visions; cherish your ideals; cherish the music that stirs in your heart, the beauty that forms in your mind, the loveliness that drapes your purest thoughts, for out of them will grow all delightful conditions, all heavenly environment; of these, if you but remain true to them, your world will at last be built.

To desire is to obtain; to aspire is to achieve. Shall man's basest desires receive the fullest measure of gratification, and his purest aspirations starve for lack of sustenance? Such is not the las: such a condition of things can never obtain" 'Ask and receive.'

Dream lofty dreams, and as you dream, so shall you become. Your Vision is the promise of what you shall one day be; your Ideal is the prophecy of what you shall at last unveil.

The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn; the bird waits in the egg; and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities."

-From As a Man Thinketh by James Allen

Elfyourself!

2008-11-26T21:04:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

times they are a changin.

2008-11-18T12:34:00.000-08:00

So I went to a Hanson concert Saturday night....you know mmmbop Hanson. Well their fans used to be cute girls who loved a catchy tune...maybe a little bit obsessive, but everyone was a little obsessive during the boy band era. Well the crowd at the concert was out of control. Hanson fans are now 21 and older and able to drink.

Two blond girls were in front of us bouncing up and down the entire time, with hair in our business. One of the bouncing blonds had a huge purse that kept hitting one of my girls in the stomach. The other bouncing blond got in a pushing war with another one of my girls. Courtney says... "No one does that!"

Behind me was a wasted couple that were pretty much humping each other the entire time, except for when he would lift the girl up in the air. Her boobs, her knees, her hands, her whole body was pushing me and running into me for the entire show. The glare over the shoulder does not work with drunk people.

Some ladies to the left of us decided that it was their mission to guard the center of the floor so that no one could push their way through. They linked arms and planted their feet (these were not tiny women). If you left to get a drink or go to the bathroom there was no way of getting back in. These were the same women that knew every song to every Hanson song.

There was also the lady in the back of the venue that when Matt Wertz was opening she yelled "Get the f*** off the stage...we want Hanson!" Matt just said "well someone's angry," and the crowd continued to cheer and clap louder to make up for the yet again, drunk Hanson fan.

There were also some lighters and cell phones, awkward dancing fans, and the boyfriends that were dragged to a Hanson concert that stood with their arms crossed the entire time. But overall it was a great time after I recovered from the 3 hours of sleep and the aching feet.

bring on the season.

2008-11-04T23:47:00.001-08:00

starbucks red cups came out today. another validation of my theory on the commencement of the Christmas season.

therefore...I set my Christmas ringtones today and watched love actually.

I'm with the stores on this one.

2008-11-02T00:47:00.001-07:00

yesterday I bought two peppermint mocha coffeemates. Christmas is coming.

I believe that the day after Halloween is the beginning of the Christmas season. I know...you may say, "it's too early" or "Christmas season doesn't start until after Thanksgiving." Well I beg to differ.

I used to think like you about 4 years ago, but when I came to Vanguard I found it essential to start the season early. Why? Because our Christmas break starts only two weeks after Thanksgiving, and that, I dare to say is not a long enough time to celebrate Christmas with all of my closest friends.

All to say, I want to celebrate the Christmas season with you, now, as long as I have you: Christmas music, peppermint mochas, White Christmas, and all. Please do not deprive me of my Christmas Joy!

remember the time...

2008-10-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

when we used to run around in the parking lot singing "you've lost that loving feeling."
when we would stay up laughing (and yelling out the window) until 2 in the morn.
when we would sleep in until noon.
when we went to golden spoon (instead of yogurtland) everyday.
when we went to Rob and Perry's starbucks because there wasn't a starbucks across the street.
when we played solitaire showdown.
when we were all in choir.
when we could steal each other's music on mytunes.
when we watched the o.c. every week.
when we used to do the other sister voice.
when we hung out on 5th floor of huntington.
when we would sing in the stairwell
when we watched the first 4 seasons of 24.

we had a great first year...now let's have a great last one!

(feel free to add your own remember the times...)

Preach it Jane.

2008-10-11T12:07:00.000-07:00

My favorite quote from Jane Austen's Persuasion....Jane writes a conversation of the differences between men and women and their reflections on lost love.

No, no, it is not man's nature. I will not allow it to be more man's nature than woman's to be inconstant and forget those they do love, or have loved. I believe the reverse. I believe in a true analogy between our bodily frames and our mental; and that as our bodies are the strongest, so are our feelings; capable of bearing most rough usage, and riding out the heaviest weather.'

'Your feelings may be the strongest,' replied Anne, 'but the same spirit of analogy will authorise me to assert that ours are the more tender. Man is more robust than woman, but he is not longer-lived; which explains my view of the nature of their attachments. Nay, it would be too hard upon you, if it were otherwise. You have difficulties, and privations, and dangers enough to struggle with. You are always labouring and toiling, exposed to every risk and hardship. Your home, country, friends, all quitted. Neither time, nor health, nor life, to be called your own. It would be too hard indeed' (with a faltering voice) 'if woman's feelings were to be added to all this.'

'We shall never agree upon this question' --Captain Harville was beginning to say, when a slight noise called their attention to Captain Wentworth's hiterto perfectly quiet division of the room...

..."Well, Miss Elliot,' (lowering his voice) 'as I was saying, we shall never agree I suppose upon this point. No man and woman would, probably. But let me observe that all histories are against you, all stories, prose and verse. If I had such a memory as Benwick, I could bring you fifty quotations in a moment on my side of the argument, and I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman's inconstancy. Songs and proverbs, all talk of woman's fickleness. But perhaps you will say, these were all written by men.'

'Perhaps I shall.--Yes, yes, if you please, no reference to examples in books. Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree; the pen has been in their hands. I will not allow books to prove anything.'

'But how shall we prove any thing?'

'We never shall. We never can expect to prove any thing upon such a point. It is a difference of opinion which does not admit of proof. We each begin probably with a little bias towards our own sex, and upon that bias build every circumstance in favour of it which has occured within our own circle; many of which circumstances (perhaps those very cases which strike us the most) may be precisely such as cannot be brought forward without betraying a confidence, or in some respect saying what should not be said.'

'Ah!' cried Captain Harville, in a tone of strong feeling, 'if I could but make you comprehend what a man suffers when he takes a last look at his wife and children, and watches the boat that he has sent them off in, as long as it is in sight, and then turns away and says, "God knows whether we shall ever meet again!" And then, if I could convey to you the glow of his soul when he does see them again; when, coming back after a twelvemonth's absence perhaps, and obliged to put into another port, he calculates how soon it be possible to get them there, pretending to deceive himself, and saying, "They cannot be here till such a day," but all the while hoping for them twelve hours sooner, and seeing them arrive at last, as if Heaven had given them wings, by many hours sooner still! If I could explain to you all this, and all that a man can bear and do, and glories to do for the sake of these treasures of his existence! I speak, you know, only of such men as have hearts!' pressing his own with emotion.

'Oh!' cried Anne eagerly, 'I hope I do justice to all that is felt by you, and by those who resemble you. God forbid that I should undervalue the warm and faithful feelings of any of my fellow-creatures. I should deserve utter contempt if I dared to suppose that true attachment and constancy were known only by woman. No, I believe you capable of every thing great and good in your married lives. I believe you equal to every important exertion, and to every domestic forbearance, so long as--if I may be allowed the expression, so long as you have an object. I mean, while the woman you love lives, and lives for you.

All the privilege I claim for my own sex (it is not a very enviable one, you need not covet it) is that of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone.'

I've discovered...

2008-10-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

mafia brings out the worst in me.
I love to jump into every picture being taken.
I really love Float On by Modest Mouse.
windblown is not a good look for me.
my dance moves have gradually become weirder.
I'm not a grandma because I stayed up until 2:30am last night!

thanks to all my friends for a fun night last night!!!

out of control.

2008-10-02T10:57:00.000-07:00

I missed my spanish conference course. I was studying and forgot.

I canceled a one-on-one with one of my girls and rescheduled it to next week because I had a doctor's appointment that I forgot about, and I get to the doctors and my appointment is for next week (the same time that I rescheduled my one-on-one to). I wasted gas and an hour of my day to have a sore arm from a flu shot that cost $25 that probably won't even help.

I have forgotten to text, call, and email my good friends back...I open up my phone and see the text or listen to the voicemail and I check my email inbox, and then I delete and space out and forget that people are trying to get a hold of me. I have no good reason.

I completely forgot about my one-on-one with Joel this morning and woke up a half hour later to my extremely loud alarm that had been going off for who knows how long. I have no excuse, I went to bed at 11:30pm and I have this one-on-one every week at the same time.

So I ask God to take control of my life and to bump me out of the way so that He can have complete control. This is not what I was expecting. I guess to give God control I have to be a complete mess...At least now I know God was listening.

(disclaimer: so if anyone plans something with me, I will probably forget that we planned it. I am not the same "on top of things Gma J" this week, I am completely out of control and flighty. So...just remind me a thousand times and take it up with God, cause I don't have control of it.)

new obsessions...

2008-10-01T00:19:00.000-07:00

the twilight series.
yogurtland.

trends.

2008-09-18T23:17:00.001-07:00

so there is this new thing called yearbookyourself.com. everyone is obsessed with it. out of nowhere people are yearbooking themselves and putting their pictures on facebook. some people have even created albums solely devoted to their own yearbookyourself pictures. even Carlos has dabbled in the yearbookyourself.com fad. I don't know where this craze came from, or who found out about yearbookyourself.com, but it is invading the facebook world. for a long time I stayed away. for a long time I tried to resist uploading my picture and planting my face on some old photo. but I gave in. I had to see what I would look like. but I will never post these pictures on facebook...they shall forever remain here. on my blog.

guilty obsessions...

2008-09-15T09:31:00.001-07:00

One Tree Hill.
Titanic.
Gossip Girl.
Facebook.
Miley Cyrus (Hannah Montana).
blogging.
Dawson's Creek.
The Jonas Brothers
Chick Lit.
Hanson.

and more to come I'm sure.

Give Thanks

2008-09-12T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have never found myself as joyful as I am now. I am truly blessed by the relationships that I have. I am able to be real with every one of my friends. I find that I have changed so much since freshman year, where I felt like I had to walk around on eggshells just to have friends, and now I have true friends. I thank the Lord everyday for blessing me with a true sense of friendship and community. How often do these kind of relationships come along? I can only be thankful that for this period of my life I am given the opportunity to have true community where I can be completely real. I will not take it for granted.

a posed question

2008-09-11T21:52:00.000-07:00

one of my girls asked me why I blogged...and I said, "because it's fun." Yep that's about it. It's fun and why not?

if only...

2008-09-07T22:46:00.000-07:00

If it were socially acceptable I would...
never shave my legs

If I didn't own a mirror I would...
never pluck my eyebrows

If no one wore nail polish I would...
not paint my toes random colors

If I didn't pay thousands I would...
never wear my retainers

If Alaina didn't tell me that my feet were calloused I would...
never have used a pumas stone

If no one else wore earrings I would...
not stick those foreign objects in my ears

If I weren't in choir I would...
never wear make-up

If I didn't care about my hair I would...
never brush it

oh the things we do for beauty (and others).

labor day. no. I say hot dog day.

2008-09-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

I love nothing more than a hot dog party. I mean who doesn't love a good hot dog. That's why I love labor day. I mean, I understand that we have labor day to honor all of our laborers and give them a break, but for me labor day is a time to eat hot dogs...so I did, I had two. And I loved it. Anyone that reads this should join me in a hot dog party sometime, because I love hot dogs.

that's all

summer days come and summer days go

2008-08-23T16:52:00.000-07:00

some are worth while, and some are so-so...here are my worth while memories:
spending many nights at VC with Alaina and Katie
reading Horton Hears a Who at Barnes and Noble after watching the movie at the $ theater
hot dog parties
John Mayer
making cookies and seeing double features with Katie
buenos noches
watching So You Think You Can Dance with my sister and Rachel
"pump up the jam"
singing on the day camp bus....I would list every song, but then my blog would take up the whole page
Jadaen and Alex's bee stings
rock band
oc fair cinnamon rolls
Dark Night
hugging al when she came and visited
fair parking and playing sardines at NMC
being called Nana
getting kicked off of Tower of Terror
Sneaking Sox into Dland
watching independence day on the forth of July
Titanic
wanting to kill myself at the roller skating rink
claude
Regis and Kelly
being carried around the pool by brandon and dan
eating a sack lunch every day
laughing so hard my stomach hurt

thanks to everyone that made my summer worth while!

"always wearing red..

2008-07-08T19:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know what that says, but it's something that I noticed."

All summer I have been wearing my wonderful camp t-shirt in the most flattering shade of red. I don't own red and I normally don't wear red, so I decided to buy some accessories to accompany my red shirt. Hence, my red aviators and red earrings.

Truly Inspi(red)!

damage...all around.

2008-06-30T20:05:00.000-07:00

Day camp is in full swing and our first large field trip was last week. Universal Studios! The trip was fun, with a musically entertaining bus ride, my new red accessories, and an up close and personal look at the fire damage to Universal Studio's back lot, until...the Simpson's ride.

In line I decided to take a sip of my Propel. I failed to close the cap entirely and threw it in my backpack. A few minutes later I noticed something dripping on my crocs. AHHHHHH. I spastically start handing everything that was in my backpack to my confused campers who are too busy watching the lame Simpson's episode in line, and I notice that half the bottle of propel has leaked into my backpack, filling up a good 2 inches. Everything seems to be fine, my camera was in its case and untouched, my wallet has a little bit of damage (but money dries), my phone was in my pocket and safe, and then I notice that my iPod is completely soaked. It doesn't turn on. It's dead.

Throughout the rest of the line my mind is preoccupied on my dead iPod and I don't even understand what Bart is trying to say. We finally enter the actual ride, which by the way has replaced the oh so loved Back to the Future ride, so I already have a bad attitude. It starts and it is a simulation ride, so the car is jolting me front and back and side to side, while a screen (surrounding every part of my peripheral vision) displays an entirely too fast and too colorful video of a ride gone wrong in Krustyland. Half way through the ride I had to close my eyes and look down, afraid I was going to puke just as the little baby who's mouth we had entered into seconds earlier.

All to say, the rest of the day I walked around with a sticky and wet backpack, a dead iPod, and a nauseated stomach.

Day Camp...bring on the fun!

Go Green! or something like that...

2008-06-11T11:34:00.000-07:00

I gave in. I got Crocs.

And I am going to rationalize for my self and for you:

-I am doing summer day camp and I need closed toe shoes...and I don't want tennis shoes
-They are lightweight and comfortable. perfect for my summer job
-They are the recycled ones and part of the soles united program...go green!
-They aren't an obnoxious color...they're khaki
-They are cheaper than rainbows

and I'm out of rationalizations....but don't judge me, you wish you were having a lightweight, comfy, carefree summer!

20/20

2008-06-11T11:30:00.001-07:00

I got glasses and contacts!! It was a little rough in the beginning...the whole touching my eye thing was hard, but I got the hang of it and now I can put those puppies in and take them out on the first try! It was all worth it because now I can officially see the street signs before I pass them. I can see the definition of the leaves on the trees. I can sit on the couch and read the tv guide from where I'm sitting. I can read subtitles. I can see! You know this whole glasses contacts thing is revolutionary.

a pleasant surprise

2008-06-02T22:17:00.000-07:00

Penelope...the most underrated movie of the year.

I went to the dollar theater today with katie (which is now the two dollar theater...stupid inflation) and we enjoyed an old fashioned double feature, of Penelope and 21. Our original plan was to only see 21, but we didn't have anything else to do.

21 was an "okay" movie, slow in parts, above my head in math (I am an English major), and very nerve wracking.

but....Penelope was a pleasant surprise. I loved every part of it. I cried and laughed. I was angry, sad, and happy. I experienced very emotion throughout the movie. I had never even heard of it, but I loved it! I don't want to give anything away, so i'll stop here...but I believe that everyone should see it!

un-productivity...

2008-05-24T13:51:00.000-07:00

it really should be a word, productivity is a word... so unproductivity, you just wait it's coming to a webster near you. It is the only word that begins to define my time at home thus far.

I have read two novels:
There's No Place Like Here, by Cecilia Ahern (the author of P.S. I love you). A sweet and charming story, easy to read, and it almost made me cry.
The Darcy Connection by Elizabeth Aston, a way to indulge in my Jane Austen period fantasies.

I have watched movie upon movie:
Knocked Up, worst movie of the year award.
Live Free Die Hard, "you have no idea who I am or what I am capable of"
Prince Caspian, I say better than the first except for the Regina Spektor song at the end, weird.
Astronaut Farmer, sweet but I would never watch it again, Billy Bob Thorton is hard to look at
Little Giants, a classic
In the Land of Women, better than I thought it would be
The Holiday, it was on a movie channel and I couldn't resist

and TV show upon TV show:
American Idol, congrats David Cook!
Grey's Anatomy, It's a soap opera I've decided, and I'm gonna watch it.
One Tree Hill, don't ask why
Regis and Kelly, my best friends. I just love them!
So You Think You Can Dance, It's back
LOST, it's gettin' crazy
Wildfire, who knew that show was still on
The Bachelorette, who knows if it will stick
Gilmore Girls, I haven't finish the 7th season yet

and the list goes on.

So if you're wondering what I have been up to...nothing productive. I have indulged in mediocre entertainment for the past week.

There's no place like home

2008-05-24T00:22:00.000-07:00

crazy weather equals...
ridiculously hot weather for a few days (100's)
beautiful sunshine...great pool weather
torential downpour including rain and thunder, not to mention hail
and tornados

ALL IN ONE WEEK! I have used every type of clothing from my wardrobe in order to accomodate this wacky weather.

Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in southern california anymore!

memories of ole

2008-05-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

I find I am missing all of my fellow vanguardians, and this song makes it a lot easier. thanks al.

"I'm a new soul, I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout how to give and take.
But since I came here, felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

la la la la
la la la la la la
la la la la la la
la la la la
la la la"

favorite new song sung by Yael Naim, however I prefer it sung by Alaina with her oh so endearing and strange voice

a mistaken chuppah

2008-05-05T14:27:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to church at Rock Harbor, and they have been doing this series on the Song of Solomon called Sex, Love, and God. Super cool and interesting since sex is rarely talked about in the church. Well I didn't go last week because I was at home unpacking boxes at my Mom's new condo...needless to say I was out of the loop this week...hence my story:

The message revolved around restoration and forgiveness all through God's presence in our lives. To symbolize God's presence there were chuppahs placed around the walls of the sanctuary and after taking communion and praying you could take a mini chuppah home to remember God's presence in your life this week. Sweet Idea...I want a mini chuppah to carry in my pocket. So I go take communion, give my tithe, pray, and then I look for the mini chuppah and on the ground I see these tiles. Well they looked like something I should pick up...I guess the mini chuppah can be a broken piece of tile. So I hold on to this tile for the rest of service, and in the car on the way home I realize my stupidity.

Chris and Dannae show me their mini chuppahs...which amazingly enough are little tiny pieces of white fabric. Huh? Why do I have a piece of broken tile? My friends start screaming and yelling that I have taken someone's brokenness...hold on what? apparently last week (when I was not there) everyone was supposed to pick up some broken tile and then this week they were supposed to lay it at the cross, symbolizing their brokenness. I picked up somebody's brokenness! So we decided to pray over it in the car, then we threw it out the window...I mean I can't hold on to someone else's brokenness.

All to say I didn't get my mini chuppah...

A day spent avoiding my paper...

2008-04-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

So today I visited Target twice.

On my first trip my goal was to buy a gift for the girl that is taking over my floor for Catalina "Pass the Torch." I walked in knowing exactly what I wanted to buy for her...a candy dish, a journal, and some office supplies. Easier said than done. I spent at least an hour, walking around contemplating over prices, looking at items I did not need but thought that I did. I love to just walk around and look at all the pens. I try to figure out if I'm getting a good deal or if I'm going to be ripped off by Target. I can never make up my mind. I debated on whether or not I should get dry erase markers for the gift...they are so freakin' expensive (3.49). I picked up a few items, held on to them for the majority of my trip, eventually putting them down (as soon as I realized I was stupid for wanting them) right before I went to the cash register. All to say...I left with 2 journals, a pail from the dollar section I utilized as a candy dish, a Magnetic Magna Doodle, a Cherry Frost Icee, and a bag of popcorn. Don't ask.

My second trip was about 4 hours later after I put my entire gift together (which involved painting and mod podging and lots of just sitting there contemplating what I should do). Alaina wanted to go get gifts for her Pass the Torch as well! So I said, "Why Not?" We decided to go to the Target on Adams instead to see if they had a different journal that we both wanted (in the dollar spot). We spent about an hour and a half walking around looking at everything...and by everything, I mean we went to every single section in Target. I went to get one journal from the dollar spot and I walked away spending 55 dollars...what the? Let me list my buys for you: Sister Act/Sister Act 2 double feature, Grease/Grease 2 double feature, some fancy brown flip flops, life cereal, vanilla crunch granola, jello, and the journal.

Target and I have a love/hate relationship...it brings out my indecisiveness.

trip back to 7th grade...

2008-04-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

Back in 7th grade when I had layer-less shoulder length hair, sparkling blue eyeshadow, a black miniskirt that I wore at least once a week, and platform black steve maddens...I loved Spice Girls!

Tonight some the RAs and I took a trip back in time and watched the wonder that is Spice World. (with Korean subtitles).

and we didn't finish it. somethings haven't changed. I still have a 10:30 bed time.

books I've read so far this junior year

2008-04-08T17:21:00.000-07:00

Some for class, some for pleasure, some for knowledge:

Summer by Karen Kingsbury
If You Could See Me Now by Cecelia Ahern
Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
Walden by Henry David Thoreau
Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell
Big Boned by Meg Cabot
Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter
Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe
Short Stories by Nathaniel Hawthorne
To Own a Dragon by Donald Miller
Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe
The Odyssey by Homer
The Second Mrs. Darcy by Elizabeth Aston
With Open Hands by Henry Nouwen
Passing by Nella Larsen
Butterfly's Way: Voices from the Haitian Dyaspora in the US
Annie John by Jamaica Kincaid
The Gangster We Are All Looking For by Le Thi Diem Thuy
Sex God by Rob Bell
Native Son by Richard Wright
The Autobiography of Malcolm X
Maru by Bessie Head
Clear Light of Day by Anita Desai
Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison
Blue Like Jazz by Don Miller
Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

best read: To Own A Dragon by Donald Miller

boxes and independent women (and BJ) living free

2008-04-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

so I went home today. watched beauty and the geek, one tree hill, and american idol (all to say, I am a few brain cells short). my house is sold and my parents are moving into their separate places...which will leave me with 4 homes: vu, mom's, dad's, gma's (unnecessary). so I packed boxes upon boxes of stuff that I'm not sure I want but I have to keep because I'm a freak who doesn't throw anything out. Boxes for storage and boxes for each of my homes...I have so much crap, and I need all of it (or so I think).

on my return to VU...I enjoyed a tasty dinner in my absent RD's house with al, da, kristin, BJ, and destiny's child. some living free and dying hard occurred while on duty while all members in the box browsed the internet aimlessly instead of engaging in more meaningful work.

we lived free.

books I read this past summer

2008-04-04T22:55:00.000-07:00

All for pleasure. none for brain stimulation.

The Nanny Diaries by Emma Mclaughlin and Nicola Kraus
PS, I Love You by Cecelia Ahern
Love, Rosie by Celcelia Ahern
As Sure as the Dawn by Francine Rivers
An Echo in the Darkness by Francine Rivers
A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers
Grace in Thine Eyes by Liz Curtis Higgs
Whence Came a Prince by Liz Curtis Higgs
Fair is the Rose by Liz Curtis Higgs
A Thorn in my Heart by Liz Curtis HIggs
Mr. Darcy's Story by Janet Aylmer
The Second Mrs. Darcy by Elizabeth Aston
Ever After by Karen Kinsbury
Sunrise by Karen Kingsbury
Forever by Karen Kingsbury

Best read of Summer 07: PS, I Love You

Live Your Questions...

2008-04-04T18:09:00.000-07:00

I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.

Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer. - Rainer Maria Rilke

my prayer for my girls...as the year is almost over

2008-04-04T15:05:00.001-07:00

I gave my girls a journal at the beginning of the year...here is what it holds.

This journal is for your journey. There are 100 blank pages from start to finish. Maybe the stories haven't happened yet. Maybe you can't find the words. All I ask is that you open up your heart, your mind and your life. There are some that would put this journal aside, scared of the emptiness it holds. There are some that wouldn't want to search through these blank pages to find what God has for them. But that's not you. There are times, there are moments when you can't find the words. When the climb seems too long, too hard. When all you see is a dirty window. When you get lost in the details, the waiting, in the unknown. And you think, "I can't do that." I hope and pray there is always someone who tells you that you can. That nothing is impossible, that you're never alone. Promise me something. Fill this journal with your story. It doesn't have to be perfect, there are no expectations. It doesn't have to fit the standards of others. That's why its YOUR story. Open your hearts. Take your pen. This is where your book begins....Unwritten.

My prayer is that through this year they have learned how to live with arms wide open.

I can't tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open, spacious life. We didn't fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren't small, but you're living them in a small way. I'm speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively.
2 Corinthians 6:11-13

2007-09-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

This year is off to a good start...after being disconnected from any technology for a week, and then being put through training for another week, and then being left without any internet for another week...things are back to normal (well sort of). Classes have started and are as stressful as ever...but really hopeful as well.
The RAs that are on my staff are amazing. I love them already and we haven't even really known each other for a month yet. They're the friends I'm not sure I would have made, but I thank God that I did! This year is going to be an adventure.
I am uber excited about my floor this year too. The girls are tight and they're pretty much a blessing from God. I am thankful for everything that has been provided for me this year. I can't wait to finally get into the routine of everything so that I can start to figure this year out!! Peace out.

2007-08-10T11:36:00.000-07:00

The Most Important People in my Life:

My mom and my sister.

My Grandparents.

My Cousins.

My Family...

2007-08-10T11:17:00.000-07:00

A summer of hope. A summer of disappointment. A summer of sadness. A summer of change. A summer that rocked my world. Summer 2007.
I wasn't expecting to come home this summer to divorce. to tension. to hardships. sometimes what you expect is not what you get. Through tears and prayers my life was changing. It's hard to look at the situtation that I was placed in and not be angry at God. but God has never been the brunt of my anger.
He has been my Father. My comfort. My strength. someone who has always stood behind me and helped me get through the tough times. He takes my hand and tells me He's always there.
As someone who has never really gone through suffering before, I can tell you that this has brought me closer to God in a way that I could have never imagined.
It's a tough time. But I know that I'll stand strong and tall by the time that it is over.
In everything God works for the good of those who love Him.
What's a little hardship when He's standing beside you.